I listen to the sound of the escaping wind, hurtling, enthralling, captivating my imagination and comprehension. The very last leaf, within my view starts to fall from the tree just across from me, escaping, leaving, transcending the moment into something new and fresh. It falls, whispering thoughts of sunshine, growth and the meaning of life.
The music blares from the headphones as I return them to my ears, breaking the aura of the surrounding landscape, the view before my eyes. I hum the tune, breaking the silence from my person, startling the small bunny frolicking over in the nearby field. Despite the loud music, the words, the calm moment cannot be taken away from my soul.
I smile, a little, eyes softening, realising that I’m safe, alive, healthy and happy. This, of course, for many of us is often not the case or hasn’t been this way for a long time. Closing my eyes, returning to a previous moment of pain, the teaching of the past, I recall the second, the words, the angst bestowed towards my life, then close the thought within my mind. It’s gone, it’s over, it has been done and I am now who I am. There is no recalling the moment, transcribing a different outcome or replacing certain words. Such is life. What has been will always be.
Despite my own teachings, the way I’ve always viewed life, there are moments, as well as people, that can trouble you, hurt you, make you into something that you’re not but, saying that, I know that we have overall control of our own actions so no blame, ever, can be placed upon another’s shoulders. I am. I will always be. I am master of my own decisions. The words from my lips are mine and mine alone. I… am to blame for whatever I say or do. No-one holds your hand, embraces your decisions with guidance, without your permission.
Each tree, within this world, is born innocent. It watches, learns how to grow, what to be, survives in the universe and passes away just the same. Each tree needs to be nurtured, guided just that little bit, but it really does know what to do. There comes a day where our hand leaves our guardians, we become alone in the world, yet unlike the tree we’ve no real plan or scale on how to grow tall into the sky. We might dream of touching clouds or branching to the moon, but we often fall when life becomes too complex. Weighted, drowned by rain fall, axed and fallen from our own decisions and other’s words. If we were but a tree, we would be fine, but we’re not and will never have a life so simple.
The leaf finally reaches the ground and, with instinct, I press pause. The audio stops, my hand lifts the camera and I take a picture. Frozen, a moment in time, the leaf fallen from the tree and the cycle has repeated for another year. We’re somewhat like the tree, stuck within cycles, repeating, reprocessing the same cycle, the never ending circular process. When do we escape our own mind? When do we grow, when do we heal, what should we do and where do we go?
Within each person, deep within, I truly believe that there’s a plan for each of us. You can speculate, procrastinate, but the plan is one of simplicity. Smile. Be. Accomplish. Do what you want to do and do it now. We were never meant to be that tree, the mighty stable life providing vessel, we’re supposed to re-define our needs and requirements above simple water and sunshine. We can be so much more.
I listen to the sound of the bellowing wind as I remove my headphones. I’m trying to become aware, aware of myself, to escape, to leave, to transcend into something new and fresh. I can fall, I can whisper thoughts of summer, of growth, the meaning of my life, but right now, right this very second, I’m free of thought and ready to be something new.