Tuesday, 16 July 2019

Reverse


His knee bounced up and down, ever so slightly, as he waited. The reception area looked pleasing, sparse, yet evenly colour matched. He had no idea why he was thinking such thoughts but, thankfully, it seemed to evade the very reason he was there. He’d moved on, survived, discovered, with a niggling ache at the back of his mind that needed to be removed.


“Mr. Williams?”

His knee stopped, looking up and to his side, to see the attractive receptionist smile at him. Standing, the time finally arriving, he walked the short distance into the room. This was it. No turning back. He really wasn’t sure and that alone, made the decision for him. He was a decider, no matter how long he thought about a subject, he would eventually act and move forward. This situation, the issue that remained, simply did not want to leave him.

He felt tense, but optimistic, that feeling of wonder and fear all wrapped together. The room reminded him of a Dentist’s office. Amazingly clean, sterile, with the lighting clear as day. The lady, sat on a high stool, smiled as he entered, “Hello Mr. Williams. Please take a seat!” He wanted to make a joke, about taking the seat away with him, but that probably wouldn’t raise a laugh. His jokes, being as awful as they were, did at least keep him amused.

As the seconds moved forward, they discussed the various options until they reached the most important section. The lady sat in front of him, with a serious look upon her face, asked the most important question, “The relationship did not last that long, so why would you prefer to remove the memories?”

Dan froze, for a few seconds, as the images flooded his mind. The anger, rejection, shame and further emotions, all appeared within a mere second. “It’s just the best thing for me to do. I made mistakes and, if I’m honest with myself, I was in no state to really take what happened.”

The lady smiled, understanding as much as she could, “You know that we learn from our experiences, be they good, or devastatingly bad! You seem like someone that would learn from your experiences as well as mistakes?”

“I am. I do, but this has stuck with me. I find solutions to my problems and this… is my solution!” He knew that his reply was the most honest and genuine reply that he could find. He wasn’t willing, or able, to simply let the situation take as long as it had done to fade. The entire mess was still fresh, each day, whenever he tried to feel emotions or even move forward. The time, wasted, never to return.

“Okay. If you’re happy to proceed then I’m also happy.”

He nodded. It was the right moment, the correct path forward, with his mind and heart welcoming the freedom. The lady moved from the stool, opening a drawer, to produce a circular metal band. She walked over to him whilst speaking, ”If you’d like to relax, as much as you can,” placing the band onto his head, “we can then start the process!”

She returned to the stool, as she tapped the screen of her tablet. His curiosity loved anything new, experiences, places, with all of this seeming so interesting. He relaxed into the chair, breathing in through his nose, then out of his mouth. He started to laugh, the wonder and excitement appearing from within. He admonished himself, as he didn’t really wish to come across as a teenager with a new toy.

“We’re ready to proceed,” said the lady, smiling as she continued to tap away, “I’d like you to imagine her face, anything that you can recall about her. Really, deeply, focus as much as you can. Remember Rebecca Summers!”

Dan closed his eyes, knowing that all the events featuring the woman that he needed to be removed, were linked together like strands of cord. Connected, forming changes within his thinking, mood, as well as the person he was. Too many moments of regret, the words he should have said, instead of the words that he did, haunting his waking moments.

He felt his heart relax, his mind allowing the moments to focus. Her face appeared, so beautiful, her hair flowing as it did in the way that he loved. She smiled, the chill moving through his spine as his emotions spiked. He’d not met many people, within his life, that had the effect that she’d had upon him. He’d hated this, the man that said as well as did what was required, only to fail on all levels. He’d allowed that smile of hers to remove his confidence, his faith in the man that he wanted to be. Worthless, not good enough, failing at what he excelled at.

The lady monitored the threads, the connected mental information concerning the person that Dan needed to be removed. The information within his mind, albeit a small amount, started to fade as she ensured that the information removed stayed within defined parameters. She recalled the name of the person Dan had the relationship with, wondering why she’d heard it before.

Dan recalled walking, hand in hand, stopping to gently kiss her neck as she laughed at his silly comments. He’d felt alive, floating upon a cloud of delicate foundations, only to see them all fall from under him. He held her face within his mind, as his thoughts struggled, grasping, searching, as she faded, along with any trace of her from his memory. Gone. Done. No longer.

“…and that’s it. All done!”  Said the lady. Dan opened his eyes, shocked at the speed of such a process.

The lady, once again, tapped the screen a few times, as she scrolled through the names of the previous participants for ‘object’ removal. She’d remembered the name of Dan’s removal subject and, right there on the small screen, she read the name and tapped. A picture appeared and, as she suspected, Dan’s name was her removal subject. The both of them had visited the same clinic for the same process.

The lady stood, still keeping the same smile that she had throughout the process. She removed the metal ring, placing it into a plastic container on her desk, “If you need any further assistance, please call the clinic and we can discuss further treatment. How do you feel?”

“I feel amazing,” he replied, his thoughts once again his own. He knew why he’d visited, with the sensation of not actually ‘knowing’ why he’d visited, baffling him. The vacant, empty thoughts that were once within his mind, no longer existing to form the thread of information. He smiled, regardless, realising that the next few days would re-arrange his thought processes.

--

Dan sat at the bar, the smile still upon his lips, as he sipped the vodka and Pepsi. The last few days were amazing. Skipping out of bed, driving to work singing his favourite songs, with none of them reminding him of previous events. His mental freedom finally restored. To Dan’s right side, sat a woman, who also ordered a vodka and Pepsi. Dan, glancing sideways, immediately appreciated the way she looked, as well as sounded. Her hair, looking simply amazing, being the obvious and instant attractive aspect. He gestured to the barman, “I’ll get this for the lady!”

She smiled, “Thank you, but I can get my own drink!”

“Yeah, I know, but it’s got us talking and that was my only intention.”

“In that case maybe we should introduce ourselves?”

“That would be nice, I’m Dan! Nice to meet you.”

“Hello Dan, my name is Rebecca, Rebecca Summers!”

They both smiled, as Dan knew that he’d never regret visiting the ‘Reverse’ clinic.


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No matter how much something hurts, or whatever loss you experience, it WILL make you endure and learn. That is, of course, if you see it that way. Believe in your capacity to withstand anything life throws at you! 

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