Tuesday, 1 September 2020


There’s a voice, resounding within my head and, possibly, heart. I can hear you, whispering, just out of reach and recognition. I know that it sounds odd, maybe even bizarre, but I don’t wish for the voice to ever, never ever, stop.

My friends say that I should listen to their advice. Heed their words. Listen to their notions and oceans full of their way of doing things. They’re all the same, uttering the remarks with their side glances. I see them but once I hear your voice, I fall into that silent, deafening, trance that holds me together.

My heart aches, it made its stake, paid the price and ventured into the gamble of you. I lost. With each new day, with each new morning, we place our bets and roll the dice. It is inevitable. It’s decided for us. We’re trapped amongst the daily grind and workings of the modern world. We’d escaped, even for the smallest of times. We laughed, we loved like that fire filled furnace, our energy being each other’s smile and exposed modesty.

The way we held each other, the moments we shared, unlike any other couple’s beating hearts. We were within the unison of souls, the ending somewhere off within the distance of our view. I could have held your hand until my very skin faded to dust but, instead, the world decided. For us. With us. Against us.

I sat upon the grass, saying goodbye to your very soul, feeling your soft fingertips embrace my face one last time. It hurt like hell. It burned my very soul. It closed my eyes to the world and places we’d visited. I found no solace, no solution, no way forward until the day you spoke to me again.
Our crazy life. The moments. Eventually, one day, I’ll escape and run away from all of this, everything about you, but until then, I’ll exist with the ghost of you by my side.