Friday, 31 August 2018


She sat on the boat, her feet feeling the wooden surface, that was now covered with mildew. It felt odd, seeing as she’d normally only remove her shoes in a warm house but, on this occasion, it seemed natural as all she wanted to do was feel. Feel the boat, feel the moment and feel the emotions that violently threatened to overwhelm her. This moment, right now, didn't help matters.

It had all happened the year before, on a day, unlike today, that featured sunshine and warmth. They’d been friends for a while, chatting, messaging, the usual social engineered methods that kept people apart more than together, in person. It was all too easy and, thankfully, on that very day they’d managed to find this peaceful lake that they’d spoken of many, many times. The bees buzzed through the air, the flowers glistened, enveloping the very essence of how she felt. She was free, feeling so amazing, with the grass feeling so very soft under her toes.

Her new friend was charming, adventurous, the type of person that she actually would have liked to have been. But, with life, they were the bricks that fitted together ever so well, which is what she wanted, but that was soon to be decided. She took a chance, a momentary spike that overcame any fear that she might feel, reaching out and a hand was held within hers. It was beautiful, almost emotional, but all she really felt was the smile upon her lips. It was happening, it might have to be, which is when they both decided to take a boat ride.

Paying the boat master a small sum of money, they both climbed into the boat, carefully, as falling in right now might have spoilt the mood. Pushing away from the small wooden stand, they drifted. They talked, they laughed, they exchanged the stories that one would wish to explore and looked into each other’s eyes in a way that signified the world ending in any single second.

Closer, a small bit closer, the laughter still moving their minds and embracing their hearts, they both suddenly stopped the words escaping into each other’s mind. Their breathing halted, the world paused, the sounds around them fell silent and she moved forward placing her lips onto hers. Feeling the soft skin, her lips against her, made her mind and heart free fall. Moving, gently, ever so softly, feeling each and every single moment, she felt Susan’s hand against her cheek and the fingertips slowly move to her neck.

Trembling, she moved back to look into Susan’s eyes. The stillness carried forward. No words. They embraced again until she decided to sit back onto the rear seat. Holding hands, emotions peaking to new levels, her body wanting more, her heart demanding everything, with her mind trying to control two unruly entities.

She didn't want to say it, she didn't wish to feel it, but she’d fallen quickly. Even before this moment she knew what she wanted and the woman in front of her, was just that. Some would call her an idealist in the day of fleeting romances, some would call her silly, but she’d simply call herself someone that simply wished to love. Kind words, loving touches, a hand to hold and that’s all she’d beg for, in life, from another.

Then, from nowhere, the seconds became a mystery as it was all stolen away from her. Returning to the present day, replacing the memories of the year previous to look across the lake, she finally recalled the words that were blurted out before her. The boat that she was sitting in, right now, was the same boat from the previous year. She ran a finger over their initials and the heart that they’d inscribed into the wooden plank.

They’d only just met, exchanging so much, yet on that day she was told that her affection would be miss-placed as the woman in front of her was moving away. Another country. At first she thought that it could work, that long distance adventure, but this would not be the case. Susan had already planned to marry a man, a man that wanted children, the life, the house, the usual, which meant that in this case, this moment, Susan’s small freedom would not last. She’d wanted to scream, to run away, but instead she was there in the middle of a lake. Quickly, from nowhere, she gathered her thoughts and expressed her understanding. It was not meant to be. It was a friendship to stay just that.

Sitting on the boat, the small boat that seated two, she looked out into the lake and smiled. There were moments of great happiness in life, excitement, heart stopping amazement and, on that day the previous year, this very boat witnessed a moment just like that.

Tuesday, 28 August 2018


The door opened and in she walked. Ready, willing, able and about to have as much fun as she could. Despite the time spent drying her hair, straightening, styling and having a mild fit at the mid-way point, she’d managed to arrive ten single solitary minutes late. This, as she knew, was more than fashionable.

She prided herself on knowing what to wear, with what accessories and, on this night, she’d decided to wear only her most precious items. An hour previous she’d been tempted, then giving in, to wearing her absolute best underwear. At the very rear of a very big wardrobe sat a small box, a very pretty box, filled with a set of Guia La Bruna lingerie. She’d had a mad moment, a few months previous, where she absolutely had to own something, anything, of this nature that sat at the top of the tree. This moment, time, was that time to wear such things. A very exquisite set, the softest lace, she barely even knew that it was against her soft skin but, she knew.  There was something ever so special about wearing such things. Maybe it was her imagination but sexy was as sexy felt and, right now, she felt just that.

They’d met a few times, over the last few weeks, exchanging stories, life lessons, the usual anecdotes that should change the world, would change the world, if anyone acted upon them. He seemed wonderful, sensible, even sexy in a charming way, with his words seemingly knowing exactly what to say every single time. She was glad, even happy, otherwise her perfectly smooth legs would have something to say about the time it had taken to reach such a place. He’d probably had a shower, thrown on a shirt, suit jacket and pants, calling that enough while she’d spent three, or more, hours getting ready. She didn't mind as this seemed worthwhile. It seemed genuine.

She glanced down, as she hurriedly walked towards the entrance, glancing at her perfectly presented cleavage, brushing away a black speck that had landed from the night air outside. If he didn't notice her legs, her perfect hair, or her lips, he’d most certainly notice them. She often felt that men were underpowered, in some ways, when compared to the vast array of female anatomy that could be used against them. But, she also knew, that despite those weapons she still had to compete for affection in this crazy, mixed up, silly world. She often worried that her x wouldn't be good enough for y, with the media, magazine, friends and enemies all reminding her of the possible imperfections of life. It was a struggle, at times, despite sometimes not given even the slightest care in the world.

She reached the entrance, standing by the small stand holding the guest book, casting her gaze into the seating area. This was it, date number three, both managing to resist the usual carnal desires of not giving a flying heck about the way things used to be. He’d been respectful, maybe even annoyingly so, as everything seemed to happen so easily these days. She’d enjoyed waiting, with her body not sharing that view, as it had been far, far too long. ‘Good things come to those that wait,’ she said to herself, followed by ‘unless they’re not good!’ She smiled, knowing that in this case, it wouldn't be the case.

As the seconds moved forward the butterflies started, her heart beating that little bit faster, as he appeared into view. It didn’t matter what she wore, how she styled her hair, her smooth legs, the perfume or the extras. Even the clothes, as all he had to do was whisper into her ear, smile, or look at her with those deep blue eyes and she knew, she damn well knew, that she’d be seduced.

Sunday, 26 August 2018


Daniel sat, perfectly still, on the subway seating, waiting patiently. He’d not felt this way for quite some time but right now, this very second, he could feel his heart bounce around in his chest. He did think that his affection was something of silly dreams but, as the world had not yet damaged his ideals, to some it could be called innocence at work. Either way, no matter what was going on within him, it was a beautiful event.

He’d been travelling, from this very line, for a couple of years and although he could have driven to work, he’d decided to simply take it easy. A bright idea, an easy option, quickly taken and here he was.

He stopped his leg bouncing up and down, trying to fight the nervous energy, but he simply couldn't help himself. She was about to arrive any second and, before she arrived, he recalled the first time he’d seen her. It was a normal day, a day like any other day, but as soon as his eyes settled upon her smile his world changed. In an instant, a very second, her smile improved his world.

She was slightly smaller than him, beautiful hair, eyes that could melt his gaze and that smile, that very smile, took his breath away. She was, to him, perfect and today was the very day that he would say hello. He’d often chastised himself for not saying hello over the weeks and months, but this was an almighty step that couldn't be taken lightly. He was, after all, not used to liking anyone. His friends had laughed at him, in a fun way, saying words such as ‘puppy love’ and although they might have been right, they’d also found it beautiful. He really was so innocent in the world.

He was also scared. Scared of rejection, the simple idea of his affection not being what she would like, but accepted that this could always be a possibility. He’d worked himself up, forcing himself to be brave, so the moment today would be just that, brave. He’d thought about what he’d say at least a hundred times, maybe more, with various silly things being sent his way through the friends mentioned above, but realistically he’d start with a very, very simple little word… ‘hello’.

He again stopped his leg moving up and down as, right then, she appeared from around the corner. His heart stopped, beat faster, stopped again, jumped a little and then melted. She was so beautiful that he could hardly bare to take his eyes away from her. This was something pure, gentle, young and honest. The way things should be, could be, if the world didn't decide to be what it truly was.

She walked past three empty benches, until sitting at the end of his bench. He’d often found that odd but, obviously, wasn't going to complain. He’d smiled at her, once or twice, but being unbelievably shy didn't help matters. This was it, the moment had arrived, and it was now or never as he was away on holiday for the next four days.

He cleared his throat, felt the nervous energy try to stop him, but he absolutely had to say something or forever be caught in an endless loop of silly emotion and fear. “Hello,” he blurted, quickly calming himself before the next word arrived, “I hope the train is on time today!” He looked around as she said nothing, nothing at all. Confused, his fear rising, thoughts crashing within his mind and heart. Maybe she was shy, even more than him, or did she simply not want to know him? The questions arrived quickly but, before he found answers, the train arrived. She stood, looked at Daniel, smiled and nodded before stepping forward as the train slowed.

He sank into the bench, absolutely destroyed that his attempt had failed completely.  As he watched the train door close, he caught sight of her friend, making gestures and then it hit him. Sign language. She was deaf, possibly. Probably. After the weeks and months, he’d actually never once noticed. He couldn't believe that he’d missed something so simple, so obvious, yet… he was oblivious.  More thoughts struck him. The revelation realising within his mind and heart. ‘It didn't matter and why should it?’ he reminded himself. It didn't change a thing.

The four days vanished quickly and, once again, he sat on the bench waiting. His fear had virtually vanished, the beauty of her smile being the constant reminder that he, as well as the world, could adapt to anything. Once again, just like any other working day, she arrived, walking past the same benches as she’d done for months. Sitting calmly, she glanced across at Daniel, a cute friendly smile and, before she looked away, he raised his hand. He’d only had four days to learn, to study, but this was now or never.

He had a few sign words memorised, as he’d done his research, but first pointed at his lips. She nodded. He smiled and, instantly, so did she. She could lip read and, trying to remain calm as his heart once again caused trouble, he started to speak as clearly as he could without any stuttering or slang, “I would really like to have a coffee with you, if you drink coffee, especially seeing as we’re bench friends. Would that be okay?” Her smile absolutely glowed, as she brushed aside her hair. She quickly rummaged through her bag, finding her phone, pointing and then pointing at Daniel.

Within moments they’d exchanged phone numbers and, as the seconds flew and the train arrived, she stood clicking send. Daniel watched as she literally jumped from the ground in excitement, her eyes lighting his entire world, as she waved goodbye and walked onto the train. As the train pulled away he opened the text and read the words she’d sent, ‘Thank you for asking and I really would like to get a coffee. I've sat next to you for months hoping that you’d ask. I'm obviously a bit shy. Can’t wait to see you again, Isabella xx’.

His mind relaxed, the almighty task completed, his heart racing, his body feeling alive and the smile, his smile, couldn’t be compared. He knew that there might be challenges but he wasn’t that silly to believe that love, communication, resided in the hearing of words. He knew that his meaning could be felt through his actions, his eyes, his smile and his warmth. He knew, possibly, that his greatest adventure was about to begin.

Saturday, 25 August 2018


Jack ran. He ran as fast as his little legs could carry him despite not knowing where he would run to. The Teddy, clenched tightly to his side, jolted around as Jack cried the tiny tears of life that he should not be experiencing. He was far too young, this was all far too soon, but life nonetheless.  When he heard the news, he didn't know how to feel, let alone think, which left the very last option and that was to run. To hide. To cry like all little boys did when upset.

His legs surrendered to exhaustion and he stopped, looking up the long driveway that featured tress to each side of the road ahead. The gravel and stone under his feet, felt strange, despite walking here many, many times. Everything felt strange. Even the rain, pouring around him. He held the teddy to his chest and cried as hard as he could. Eyes closed, tears falling, he held the Teddy so damn tight that nothing in the entire world could separate them. Not even his Mother.

From behind his Father walked towards him. Slowly, his own anguish threatening to tear him apart. Simon knew that he had to be strong, or at least stronger, than his emotions would currently allow. It was time for understanding, tears, hugs and more. This situation, despite his adult years, felt completely new. This wasn't the same as when his Mother and Father left the world, as he had his support platform to recover from, his Son’s hand to hold, his Wife’s lips to kiss and now, he felt as if the entire world wanted to suffocate the life from his very soul.

He’d heard the news the day before, when Jack was staying with his Auntie. Sudden, confusing, the disbelief quickly trying to recover his sanity as the biggest part of his world vanished in the blink of an eye. This was life. This would now be his life. Despite the news, ignoring the pain, his second thought after the disbelief was Jack. He simply did not know what to say, how to say it, or even when to say the words.

Jack had arrived home the next day, slightly earlier than usual, but that was sensible as they both had to be brave. He had a feeling that Jack would even be braver than him, the Father in all of this, but time would tell. He’d tried to use soft words, sensible words, but that only elicited the event right now. He didn't want to stop Jack expressing his feelings, as young as he was, but it only made it harder.

Kneeling in front of Jack, Simon lifted Jack’s chin to see a small face covered in tears. Red eyes, a snotty nose, with new tears arriving as the seconds ticked. The rain was cold, as harsh as rain could be, but that was ignored completely. “Mummy has gone to a beautiful place, Jack,” said Simon with his pain disguised within his softest voice and words, “a place where she’ll always be able to help you when you say her name!”
“Mummy!” said Jack with his broken voice, interrupted with his crying. 
“I know, I know Son”
“I want Mummy back!”
“So do I Jack, So do I!” 

Simon, placing his other knee on the floor, held out his arms and hugged Jack as tightly as he could with the Teddy squashed between them. Letting go, he held each of Jack’s hands in his, “See your hands Jack, these hands were made when Mummy and Daddy held hands, on a beautiful day. Each time you look at your hands, remember, that your hands are Mummy’s hands. They’re Daddy’s hands. When you see your hands always remember, “ Simon paused for a second as his own tears appeared, then continued, “…that we’re thinking of you, protecting you, wishing for you to smile.”

Simon stood, scooping Jack into his arms as the Teddy fell to the ground, stepping towards the house. “Teddy!” said Jack. Simon turned his head slightly, caught sight of the Teddy on the ground, stepped back and bent over. Jack grabbed the Teddy and held it against his chest again. 
“There you go Jack. Keep Teddy safe. Can you do that? Teddy will miss Mummy just as much as we will!”
Jack nodded, kissing the top of the Teddy’s head and, for the smallest of seconds, Jack managed to smile. Simon knew that the next few months would be tough, filled with tears, but maybe, just maybe, Teddy would keep them both safe and, hopefully, the three of them would be okay.


Each and every single day heart crushingly tragic events occur. Find your Teddy. Survive.

Friday, 24 August 2018


I'm often amazed at the amount of negativity within our views, our lives, our words and what we do. If a person stands in front of a cliff edge, wanting to jump, everyone would want to stop the person from jumping. That’s obvious. But what is the reason for jumping? There’s so many variables within that one scene that one cannot help but explore.

The person wants to jump and they've wanted to jump for the longest time. Should we let them? Is it our decision in life to stop anyone and everyone doing what they’d like to do?  What we don’t know, about this imaginary scene, is that he’s jumping from a known location for just that, jumping into the water below. They've seen videos, albeit supposedly perfectly safe, there will always be risks involved. Always. You drive your car to work or to the store each and every single day, which probably has more risk than jumping from that cliff.

The person jumping has been swimming for years. A jump such as this cliff jump is easy, a walk in the park, yet the people around this person quickly move to judge, to afford the person negative comments such as, “You don’t want to do that!” or, “It’s the wrong thing to do!”  That’s all fair enough as we all have opinions. We all have choices. You could jump with the person, as that person has the plan already worked out within their mind. It’s all options, all solutions. You have a problem, which involves entering the water, toes first as the height is above a head first dive. There’s the direction to swim back to shore, with possibly more to consider.

In life we have problems, real, scary, horrendous problems. Some of them may take more to resolve than making the decision to dive into some water filled area. What ‘we’ could change is the way we perceive problems. We’re not all the same, we all have our own minds and despite worrying about my own problems time to time, I know that for every single problem we must only think of solutions.

Solutions are the key to everything. It doesn't matter how quick, or slowly, you come to a solution as it’s the activity that matters. Do something. If you intend to take three weeks to decide then take the weeks, use them, explore with them, see the angles, the avenues and possibilities. Smile at the options, place the worry into a drawer away from your mind, then act. Make it happen. Create the plan. Yes, of course, you can re-evaluate, but it’s hardly going to do anything for you if you regret a decision that has been made. It’s done. That’s the past. Right now is the second that decides the next second of your future.

Never be afraid to jump but, of course, there will always be practical issues that need to be faced. If you want to travel the world then do it. That is to say, within reason, as long as your financial or current life allows that. There are obvious things to consider like children, debt, mortgages, but there can be a way. If not, you can actively decide to cancel that plan unless something changes. There you go, you’ve made that decision, you’ve jumped into the sea in a fashion. Positivity must win when battling negativity.

When you make your decision be wary of the people standing on the cliff next to you. They may not agree with supposedly reckless behaviour as, unfortunately, you and I, as well as most people, live confined and defined lives. Our glass houses are held together by the words nine to five, our lives a moment’s thought away from smashing to the ground. We’re trapped by money and might always be. Unless, of course, you jump. Change can be scary, it can keep you up all night, but it can also enliven your heart, soul and mind.

The norms of society are just that, normal. Who wants to be normal? We all allude to being special, different, that person that walks tall yet the truth is that we’re living our lives as intended. We’re walking through the halls heading towards the same door that eventually opens. We could be flying, we could be feeling so much more, but that’s up to each and every single one of us. You could be happy, which is an amazing thing to feel, so shake your own hand and smile.

For the rest of us, for the few standing by the cliff, at least consider the decision to jump. You’ll never know what’s out there until you try.

Thursday, 23 August 2018


Somewhere, somehow, there’s a river within that soul of yours. I know that I’m caught, within the waves of your affection, but that doesn’t mean that I want to escape any time soon. I’m here for the journey as, when you’re not around, I miss you so very, very much.

I've been living my own life, coasting, cruising, within the wonders of the very world we love and need. I need for nothing, needed by a few, missed by no-one, realising that I'm but a speck within the world. I'm happy, I'm okay, smiling at the mysteriously silly things that people do, say and feel. You were far away, over there, walking within the river or your own making. Then… .

You appeared, you arrived, with a smile to light the room, the words of wonder and the lips that have kept me awake all through the night. Within my dreams I've explored you, known you, seen you, vulnerable and mighty all at the same time.

I’ve built a raft from moments. The seconds you've spent with me, defined with me, realised within me, have created a model to sail your very seas. This raft, this rickety creation, needs to move with you, embrace you, to explore your soul. You have a wise soul, a soft soul, with damaged edges but the core, the very life of you, is a wondrous explosion of life. You can see that wherever we go, whomever we meet, you express the warmth that calms and soothes. I'm the special one, the lucky one, as you hold my very hand within yours.

When your smile is no longer here I feel my heart start to crumble, breaking each and every single time you close the door, despite knowing that you’ll return. It’s silly, it’s almost tragic, that a single and solitary figure can become so attached. It’s a true fairy tale involving a white night, the various castles of life, the queen commanding and deserving of affection.

Whenever I close my eyes I can feel you, that soul, caressing my face, touching my lips, wanting to become ever closer despite there being no space between us. This what it feels like to have two souls, bonded, together, possibly forever, the way that works within our lives.

From the top, middle, as well as the bottom of my heart, soul to a soul, my soul thanks, loves and adores you.

Friday, 17 August 2018


The piles of rubbish, rubble and anything we could find, stretched for miles. We’d scavenged for the last few months, the few remaining people and I, trying, finding, that last ditch effort offered before all hope would be lost.

The world we knew, now so far, far away, constantly reminding each of us of the ways we used to live. We laughed, smiled, cried until the night reminded us of the sleep we needed. Missing the days, embracing the nights, trying to last one, more, solitary day. Each day. Until that last day.

Pushing another bundle of rubbish into the gigantic collection in front of me I pause, for a few seconds, reaching out. A small teddy, nothing special, right in front of me. I sat down onto the sand, the sand that now stretched for many, many miles. Reaching, I picked up the teddy. A small bit battered, probably living a life of lost and forgotten cuddles. Maybe it had managed to float along a long-forgotten river, before reaching here, before the day decided to change everything forever.

Smiling, feeling, I casually throw the teddy onto the pile and relax onto the sand. Embracing the stars now covering the sky above, breathing managing to relax for a few seconds as one of my collection colleagues walks past, reminding me, placing the inevitable thoughts into my mind, that we were close to lighting the last fire.

The lands had dried, the seas had burnt to a crisp, with the remaining plant life crying for freedom. This was it, that moment where the spark finally dies, finally encompassing the realisation that this truly was the end.

The shouts echoed through the night air, as I stood, walking backwards away from the pile. We’d collected so much, with so little time, in the last-ditch effort to try and find rescue. We were few, oxygen dwindling, with no room to manoeuvre or escape. There were others, safe, behind the walls of technology but their time was also limited to the failings of man made machines. Soon, very soon, the same fate may defeat each and every single one of them.

The fire flew along the piles of rubbish, lighting the very sky with our message, the plea for some higher power to help. We’d failed this world, we’d failed ourselves, with the momentary gamble of thinking that the next generation would make things better. Would make things right. That never arrived, leaving the next collection of human like drones to realise that the system no longer worked. It was too late.

The fire raged, ravaging the remaining oxygen in the air around us. One by one, we fell, we gave our last remaining breath to try and find absolution. The world, the earth, finally no longer willing to nurture the life that we needed.  The fire, the rubbish and debris that we’d collected, spelt the simple letters to any being out there in the darkness... SOS.

Monday, 13 August 2018


Although I'm still reasonably young, within this great world of ours, I still recall so much from the years that have now gone. My Mother, bless her soul, used to tell us stories and even to this day and until the day I leave this world, I’ll always remember them. My Father, bless his soul as well, used to get embarrassed despite all of us knowing the type of man that he was.

A great man, a wise man, who’d lived through so much and left us with even more. The stories revolved around a man that insisted in being strong, no matter the circumstance, the difficulties, no matter how many cracks appeared on his face, within his smile, or deep within his eyes. He was, will always be, our rock.

Mother used to say that, once he’d proposed with the largest diamond, his gift that resembled a giant rock, he devoted his life and love to being just that. Strong, dependable, resilient and more. Even through the late nights when we were born. Even when my Sister arrived he didn't waver; no towel being thrown into the ring. He considered these the fun times before the real world and worries started.  

No matter where we went, on a holiday, to the park, or even just sitting there watching whatever rubbish appeared on the television, he’d always be holding Mum’s hand. He was this tall hero, the man that I’d always grown and hoped to become. We did well, from his example, my colleagues in mischief. As kids we didn't have everything and, in all honesty, we didn't really care. He gave us what we now, above all, appreciated. His time. His understanding. His way of teaching us strength as well as a thick ear if we stepped out of line.

We all grew older, the five of us, supporting and realising that family, albeit annoying, was what kept things safe. You always knew, somehow, somewhere, there was someone that would actually drop everything to be with you. Take care of you. Hold that hand that needed to be held just like Dad did. Sure, we all knew it, that despite being the strong one Father knew that our Mother, his wife, was just as strong. We often wondered what would happen if, heaven forbid, Mother left all of us. Which she did.

He stood tall, like always, on the days after Mother left. He was wise enough not to show the tears, despite the pain being obvious. He was our Father, the man that seemingly knew how to handle everything the best way that he could. We heard his tears, from behind closed doors, but that was okay. That was what held us together. We knew. We always knew.

The days moved forward and we started to have our own small bundles of fun. We learnt. We evolved into the very people that we’d hoped we would become which, thankfully, made Father so proud. “If Mum were here,” he’d say, “She’d be so proud!”  He was right. She would, as we kept together. We stayed sensible, fought against any troubles that came our way, realising that we still had the one person within our lives that would never, ever, let anything happen to us. Even as adults we still needed his words. We still waited for that wise man to appear. Even if it were to call us stupid but to only then offer the obvious solution that we’d missed.

Then, that day arrived. We’d all known that it would happen and, even though despite the hurt and loss, he made us smile by doing something that none of us could see coming.  It’s been close to one year, 3 months, ten hours, twelve seconds and a few thoughts since that day he left. To us, we knew a man, and a woman, that knew how difficult the world could be. They’d decided, even before we arrived, to stay strong, together. They managed that and, on that final day when we said goodbye, Father had arranged to put his ashes within a stone. A specially cut stone, re-joined, then placed onto my Mother’s grave. You see, to him, he wanted to always keep an eye on all of us, our rock, the man that couldn't be moved, wouldn't be moved. Even now we can still see him smiling thinking of his last gesture in this world.

He wasn’t just a man, he wasn’t just our beloved Father, he was and always will be… our rock.

Wednesday, 8 August 2018


“Listen to me Boy, listen real good. You know what you have to do and you’d better do it otherwise the lady across there might just rip your head off,” Said the pack leader. Joshua nodded his head, knowing exactly what was about to happen. He’d known that Ashley would pick him, even when they were growing up, the smiles, the laughter, which lead to becoming teenagers and now, as they approached their twenty first Birthdays it was time to create a new pack. A current generation pack.

His Father stood, placing a hand onto his Son’s shoulder. Joshua smiled, knowing that he couldn't hide anything from his Father. He looked over his shoulder as his Father left the Diner. They’d owned this place for as long as he could remember, the main meeting place for most of the town. Although they weren't exactly normal, compared to most people, they’d all accepted their differences years previous, before he was born, when man feared the beast. He slipped off of the high stool catching the attention of the remaining diners. They, in turn, nodded, knowing what would come next. In turn they all left other than three men, that he kind of knew, from the old pack.

Ashley appeared from behind the counter and, straight away, Joshua could feel the hairs on the back of his head rise. All he had to do was stay away from her, just long enough, to keep the other three men away. This was a rite of passage, a changing of order, the chance to become the new Alpha male of their pack. Sure, of course, he knew that Ashley would be the Alpha Female, stronger than him, faster than him, able to literally remove his head from his shoulders, but he didn't care as he sniffed the air. The pheromones hit him and he could feel his body tighten, his nerve instantly being tested, as the three men stood.

This was it. Ashley behind him, sitting on the table by the wall and, in front, three guys that simply wanted to break him into little bits. He knew that he’d heal but that was beside the point, when he still felt pain. Head spinning, blood pumping, chest rising as his breath became quite heavy and his canines extended. He could only transform, to this point, otherwise he really wouldn't be able to control his senses as well as the increasing desire.

Ashley sat, calm, knowing exactly what she was doing. She’d teased him, wanted him, even managed to spend time with him away from the others. This was the moment she’d waited for, yearned for, but there was always a chance that Joshua would fail. She smiled, leaning back, hands on either side of the table. Exposing her neck, flicking her hair to the side. She felt her body respond to his presence as her thoughts wandered. Closing her eyes, for a second or two, she imagined the both of them finally being able to mate. To feel him all over her, his warmth holding her, taking her. Her imagination spinning, her thoughts escaping into the room, she knew that there was nothing that could stop what was about to happen. It was far, far too late for both of them, especially seeing as this was what they needed.

Joshua, who could swear that he could hear her thoughts, placed a hand onto the side of a table as his primal instincts threatened to take over. He had to control this, let his mind obey the instructions. As he faltered he barely noticed the fist as it smashed into his jaw. He opened his eyes, as the darkness appeared. Shaking his head, he looked up to see the guy smirking as the other two laughed. The rage took hold of him as he snapped off a chunk of table, thrusting it into the guys mouth. Joshua grabbed the man's arm, twisting and as he arched forward, he thrust his knee into the guy’s chest. He heard ribs crack but he didn't care as there were still two to go. The others were upon him within the blink of an eye as the first man fell.

His leg flew backwards due to a well placed kick and a fist struck his stomach. Winded, down on one knee they both landed a few punches to his face. Still, despite the pain, all he could think about was Ashley. He could literally taste her lips on his. He could feel her smooth legs with his fingertips and needed to just have her. He’d never, in all his life, experienced a need such as this moment. He could be near death and he wouldn't care. This was the trial, the bonding. No matter what he was experiencing, the situation, he would do anything to protect her above all other desires or needs.

Another punch landed but, as his head flopped backwards, he caught sight of the incoming knee from the corner of his view. Moving his body to the side, slightly, he caught the leg and wrenched it towards him. The man fell and, as he moved the leg onto the top of his shoulder, he clasped the guys knee and pressed down as hard as he could. He had seconds before the last guy would be upon him but, thankfully, he didn't need that long as the knee broke with a gut-wrenching noise. The screams filled the room as Joshua stood, throwing punches towards the last guy.

Ashley watched as Joshua managed to get the last guy in a headlock. It wouldn't be long now, her man, her mate, her pack leader to be was nearly free. She knew that he’d do what was asked. She knew that he wouldn't waver. She also knew that he’d die for her, do anything for her, as this was the very nature of things. They weren't like humans, with their casual misdeeds, the failing of things.

Joshua dropped the guy onto the floor, standing there, blood over his face, his fists dripping. His adrenaline eased, ever so slightly, as his sexual nature took control. The entire room seemed to vanish as he focused his eyes upon her. She was his, he was hers and right now, something that was always meant to be, would happen. He walked towards her, removing the mess of shirt, then removing the belt from his jeans.

Ashley watched him, unable to move, her eyes locked to his, as he appeared in front of her. She could feel the heat bellowing from his body, his skin so close to hers. He whined ever so slightly, as his head bowed to her, tilting to the side, asking to be accepted. She placed a hand onto his chest as she nuzzled his lips. They both smiled. Knowing. The emotions and heat encompassed the both of them and, as they both started to change into their true form, he ripped open her blouse and kissed her as passionately as he could. They were wolves, they were the new pack and, right now, there was only one more thing left to do.


Two days had passed, as Simon sat there on the bench outside of the Diner. He’d normally be bored but he’d managed to finally resolve a few things within his head. To his side the door opened and, after a few seconds, Joshua appeared. Ashley kissed him then vanished back into the diner. Simon stood, straightening his jacket, clearing his throat, as he approached, “Hello Joshua, my name is Simon,” to which Joshua nodded, saying nothing, as Simon continued, “I represent a company called Quarantine and I think that we should talk.”

Simon handed him a card and, as they walked towards Joshua’s car, they exchanged more words.

Not The End.

Monday, 6 August 2018


He stumbled, afraid, while placing a hand onto a library book stand. He had no idea what was happening, why it was happening, which resulted in the mild panic currently running through his veins. He could feel his heart pounding, literally wanting to break free from his chest, as he closed his eyes for a brief moment. Trying to find calm, telling himself that it would be okay, he started to control his breathing.

Opening his eyes, the room still spinning, he looked at his hand to see it burning. Literally burning. The flame, albeit small, covered his entire hand. As he lifted his other hand, also covered in increasing flames, he noticed that the book case had started to also burn due to his hand holding tight. Letting go, he made a guttural noise, the panic now fully in control. Stumbling backwards, into view of everyone in the main section of the library, he turned to see everyone suddenly stop. All not quite sure what they were seeing.

He lifted both of his hands into view, as the flames started to eat away at his clothes, with people in the distance starting to record with their phones. The typical society as he knew it. Two staff members ran over with fire extinguishers, blasting him as quickly as they could with the dry powder. At first it worked, a small little moment of hope returned to his mind but, as he blinked a few times, he watched as his hands again caught fire.

All his hopes, all his dreams, never witnessed, never actually being followed, quickly flew into his mind as his panic turned to tears. He fell to his knees, as the tears flowed. He thought of all of the moments he’d missed, the places that were presented to him, the seconds where he could have truly done something, but instead he was here. A student for life, never really amounting to anything, but still he’d held hope that he’d eventually manage to be more. Do more. Become more. With each tear, the fire grew. It didn't hurt. It didn't destroy his skin, as it instead simply engulfed him.

He could feel the intensity grow, with each passing second. The viewers had now moved closer, with their phones, making sure that they recorded every single second. The two people trying to help had stepped back, making the important phone calls asking for help. He wasn't sure if anyone, or anything, could help him at this point in time but at least someone was trying.

The last remaining scrap of clothing burned itself away from his body. Now completely covered in flame, his view obscured with the glowing red taint, he lowered his head, stopped crying and accepted that he was, at least, still alive. Maybe there was some rational explanation for what was happening. Maybe it was an optical illusion, someone playing a sick joke, as that’s what a lot of people liked these days. But, just maybe, this was real. This wasn't going to go away.

As his hope started to dwindle, to fade, the library doors opened and the small crowd stepped aside. Their mouths fully open, shocked at the sight in front of them. Four people, also covered in flame, walked towards the one kneeling on the floor. He raised his head slightly, seeing them approach, his heart nearly stopping as his mind failed to understand what was happening. Three of them stopped as the fourth walked up to him, kneeling, as she smiled, “Hello,” she said in such a calm soothing voice, “I know that you’re very scared right now, but everything will be okay!”
“What’s happening to me?” he asked, the fear apparent in his trembling voice. Her smile deepened, assuring him, relaxing him ever so slightly.
“You’re becoming something else, something new. You’re one of us and you always have been.”

She reached over, slowly, placing her hand into his. His head jerked backwards as the images flew into his mind. He saw distant planets, a world of flame, destruction, escape, a new life, a new beginning within another form. His breathing calmed as the images faded away, understanding everything. They were meant for a higher purpose, an existence of perfection, despite not actually amounting to anything within this world up until this very second.

They both stood, her hand still holding his, both now smiling. They were sparks, elements, sent here thousands of years previous, living within the new born children of this world, until the very moment where they managed to grow, to find the energy to emerge. They meant no harm, no destruction or loss of life, remaining dormant until a consciousness accepted them. He’d lost all hope, he’d amounted to nothing in this world, his anguish sending him to a place of new destruction, the destruction of ending his own life knocking at the walls of his heart and soul. He’d given up, simply wishing to become more, which sparked this change.

“What will we do now?” he asked with joy rising within his soul.
“We shall wait, gather the others, then feed the dying sun with our lives and live forever.”
He smiled again, knowing that right now, within this moment, his entire life had waited for this second. Through fear grew the realisation, the fire bellowing within him, thundering energy, meant that he willed this change. Unknowingly. He’d not let the world destroy him. Devour him. The endless lonely moments, forged the change, created the fire within. Where there is hope, he knew, that there would be fire.

Friday, 3 August 2018


The lights flickered, straining her eyes as she held her fear in her throat. Water, dripping down the walls on each side, she knew that she couldn't retreat as she’d just fallen into this corridor from above. It wasn't the longest corridor, despite the thin lighting failing to present all detail but what she could see, clearly, was the figure in front of her, in front of the only exit.

She’d heard the screams, the others screaming at the top of their lungs, so she was confident that the thing in front of her wasn't just going to let her leave. She felt the fear eating at her, willing her to cower in the corner, to close her eyes in a vain attempt to escape but this wasn't going to happen. The water, up to her waist, meant that there wasn't any corner to hide. It was either forward or… she held that thought for a second, frantically looking around for a second time. Nothing, just pipes, walls and water. A wall behind her and everything in view to her front.

Whatever it was it breathed the same air as her, judging by the condensation on its exhaled breath, which didn't make anything any easier. Dark skinned, like any reptile type creature, with two dark eyes as far as she could tell. It was large, maybe twice the size of her, which increased her wish to cry as she kept on looking at the thing. Slowly it opened its hands, exposing long nails. Her bottom lip started to shake as she realised that the word nails, didn't do the talons justice. As the fear grew she could swear that it had started to smile as it exposed the sharpest set of canines she’d ever seen.

An hour before she was calmly browsing a store catalogue, minding her own business, until her boyfriend had arrived with a few other characters. He had a supposed business deal, not too far away, so wondered if she’d like to accompany them. She didn't, as she’d rather just do what they’d planned, but being her, she’d simply stated yes and, as usual, done exactly what he wanted. The next minute they were heading along a very old underground passage. The rest, as well as the screams and running were then and this, this thing in front of her, was now.

She knew that she had little choice, or no choice at all, but to summon the inner strength to face this thing in front of her. The hardest thing in the world that she’d faced, so far, was simply saying no or to even escape something she simply no longer accepted. She’d been a passenger in her own life, directed by many others, defined, no one bothering to refine their time to see her real qualities, but that was also beside the point. For once in her life, right this second, she had no choice but to face things. This thing. That monster that we all never wished to meet. Being inquisitive, but usually remaining quiet, she really wanted to know where it had come from but, thinking things like that, wouldn't help with the fear. So many thoughts, with the few seconds remaining, she wished that she’d learnt to silence that enemy within her mind.

She stepped forward, just one footstep, but the thing growled as it lifted its arm, running a nail along a pipe. The sound echoed through the passage as she winced. Another step forward, another chance to escape. The monster in front did something that she’d never expect and, as she placed another foot forward it stepped backwards. A flicker of hope arose within her adrenaline filled body, as she held her head up, rubbing away a couple of tears that had appeared in the last few seconds. If this was to be her last few minutes on this world, she’d darn well want them to be brave moments.
Her fists, clenched tight, held firm as she moved ever closer. The thing, now next to the steps in front of the exit, couldn't move back any further. She moved forward again, then again, until she was literally within a footstep of the monster. She stared into its cold eyes, trying to see anything, a sign of aggression, fear, but nothing seemed to be behind its dark face. Maybe it was a moment of madness, or a moment of insanity, but she lent forward and with anger in her voice stated words that she’d wanted to say to many people on many occasions, “I'm not afraid of you! Nothing you can do will hurt me forever.”

The silence, despite the dripping water, seemed deafening as time slowed to a crawl. She realised that, for once, she felt no fear. None. Not even one scrap of foreboding pain. Her lip had stopped moving, her fingers relaxing, as the monster moved to the left side of the passage. She mirrored the thing and, without once letting its eyes leave her sight, she moved to the right. Lifting her arm, half expecting the thing to rip her throat away from her body at any second, she pressed the door’s safety bar and, thankfully, it opened as it should. Walking backwards up the few steps, through the door, she closed it behind her. Turning, walking slowly, she held her calm and never looked back. For the first time in her life, for once, which would forever change that life, she had finally beaten the Monster within.  She’d smile, she’d laugh, but not yet. Not just yet.