Monday, 28 January 2019

Breath

I miss you. I truly, understandably, honestly, miss you. It’s been one hundred and twenty days, seven hours and fifteen minutes before the hands of time moved along the path of reaching the eleventh second. In less time than those solitary eleven seconds, unfortunately, I lost you. To time, to the memories, to the life that’s now as empty as the sea within my heart. 



We’d met in the craziest circumstance possible. It was you, or possibly me, that made the first move. The eyes of another speak the volumes of time and words that need not be spoken. You, plus me, holding hands in the quickest time possible, until we’d actually realised what had happened through all of the laughter, the fun, the moments and more. There might be those fairy tales of old, the second of yore, but this was present life where the real world often stepped in. It scolds, it reminds us not to be bold, with the hearts that we embrace. 

The days moved as quickly as the silly moments. We were similar, completely different, the peas from other pods, yet strangely attracted to each other. It wasn't purely physical, as these things often meant far more than that, as those moments were hardly the things of majestic beauty. You brought the golden smile to my life. The kisses that lit that deep fire, embracing me for everything I am and I, me, this person here, grew stronger whenever you were near. Maybe I was selfish, maybe I was that little bit ‘kid in a candy store’, but you didn't mind as you felt the same. 

Life. This life. Our life. The hours spent on the phone talking, never texting, as that was far too distant. We knew that bonds were never formed that way. The need for more, to be close, abandoning such frivolously vacant communication. That voice of yours, the whispering words of naughty thoughts, the smile I could hear from the other side of an electronic touch, made me smile over and over again. 

Then, with each new day, arrived another chance to see you again. The life within my very bones, the bounce within my soul upon each morning, was evident to the entire world. Birds sang, dogs wagged their tails, cats looked on with less than a passing bothersome look, but that was the way of the world when all you could do was place your positive energy for all to see. This, right here, was special.  

It wasn't just the start of something, with the reveal to be a disaster, with neither of us filling a tick list of requirements to make each other safe within the world, as this was real and realised within the both of us. Appreciated, understood, with the days soon to be months. 

With life, with many things, the moments simply weren't to be. You had to leave. You had to go. The reason need not be repeated. It broke my heart but I understood. There might have been a million, or more, kisses between us. There might never have been an angry word spoken between the both of us. There might never have even be the moments we shared if we didn't turn to look at each other on that day. The might, within the been, being the only thing left for me to ponder upon. 

I miss you. I truly, unashamedly, truthfully, miss you. It's been such a long time since the clock chimed its ever moving chant. Within the moving of hands, I lost you. To time, to the moments, to history and, most of all, I miss your warm breath against my lips. 

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