She blinked, a few times, making it very obvious that she
was holding back her emotions. He, however, let it go. All his life he’d been
told that he was supposed to be a man, to stand tall, to be honest, reliable,
to look for what’s right but this, this moment, it all seemed so very wrong.
He could hear his Father’s words ringing in his ears but he denied the
pressure, the scolding, so instead he let it go. A singular tear fell onto his
cheek and rolled down his face. This, this thing that they had, was supposed to
be forever.
As a child he knew that boys were different to girls. Of
course, yes, there were the obvious physical differences, but he was talking
about how they were meant to act. Girls would be girls and boys would be boys
but one day, like today, they all had to mature into something new, something…
else. He didn't want to be the bad boy, the boy that kissed the girls and made
them cry, but like all his friends, he had, he had made a few cry, so maybe
this was where the universe made everything level.
She was leaving. She was leaving tomorrow, on a plane, quite
possibly never to return. All of the words, all of the emotions, the motions,
the never ending kisses in the mind’s eye and the words spoken within the dark
nights, would soon end. This moment, right here, now, was the final goodbye.
He knew that although he was saying goodbye, they’d see each
other again, one day, in another way, once a new sun had set. This, however,
did not bring comfort as time has seldom been kind to lovers lost. Time. If
only he had more time. Another tear, another moment, another trace of life left
to dust, this was something that he’d never thought he’d live
through.
Your heart beats, it rests, it’s given to another and feels
in your chest. He’d split his heart in two, many years previous, but this was a
clean break as the other part was given into her hands. She held his heart,
caressed it with kisses, with warmth, with the very thought of missing and
holding him. The pieces she held, he could see them, with his own imagination,
shattering into a thousand shards of sharp, cutting, perilous pain.
For a second he actually put aside his feelings, the tears
ceased and, like a person that truly understood what love meant, he asked her
if she would be okay. It mattered not
how he felt, when he considered the situation, as love commanded that he
consider the other person’s health and fortitude above his own. This was love.
This was what it truly meant. To love is to provide a haven, a safe place to
rest, to heal, then when the time comes, to wish your love well and let them
go… with love. Anything else is selfish, self-serving, a failing, a truly sad
place to be.
She knew that she would be okay, she had the support, she
had the wealth of life and family behind her. Both standing, both embracing for
the final time, he kissed her as if he held the last ember of air remaining in
the world, trying to keep her alive for a second more. Fruitless, painful, but
the endings never were kind for any soul within this world.
He sat as the door closed. This moment, right here, would
strengthen him, would enliven his soul, it would ensure that he withstood the
world to follow. He would be brave, he would be strong, he would brush aside
the selfish wanderings of the mind and wish only wealth into the world. For everything, absolutely everything, there is a time. Today, that time, meant goodbye. Tomorrow,
the tears would no longer appear and a new world remains.
He would relish the goodbye, he would feed upon the
happiness and laugh with the smiles. Goodbye was, after all, a new beginning.
A true story from my youth. Through life, through pain, through realising that love is kind, even when it hurts, you can come to understanding and accept nearly ANY decision made by a person that you love. In my case she was taken out of the country by her family. Tough times.
