Standing outside of the main room, waiting, trying to feel
relaxed, she simply felt the nerves eating at her sanity. She’d not had an
actual invite but, at the very last moment, a person came through for her and
here she was. Waiting. She’d selected the most appropriate dress, for the
evening, long, backless, with that tempting hint of cleavage ready to impress.
Matching shoes, the complimentary small purse and bag concoction that was
seemingly in that week, as well as the suitable hair combination of curls and
glamour.
Deep down, from all of the years and past events, she knew
that she was a good looking woman, modesty being removed from the equation, but
that still didn't stop her from the worry, slight anxiety, as well as the
constant nagging itch that something wasn't right. She’d often wonder why she
couldn't just go with it, be how she was, but after years of side comments from
previous partners it just couldn't be that way.
The doors opened. Light throwing itself into her eyes, as
they quickly acclimatised, she stood still until the others pushed through the
double doors. Last, as usual, into the event. A sudden rise of panic hit her
mind but she inhaled, then exhaled quickly, as she ignored all of that and
placed one foot in front of the other. This was it, hardly the most exciting
thing in the world, but a room full of people did often agitate her into a wild
bundle of panic.
Walking into the room she glanced across, taking in the
surroundings. Fancy chandeliers, wooden floor, around 30 tables, plenty of
people chatting and coughing, with a distant piano playing beautiful music. Table
27, apparently, was her table. She could feel the eyes looking at her. She was
a woman, after all, so men looking at her just seemed to be ignored as you get
used to such things, but in this instance she knew that women were also
looking. Judging, not accepting her choice of dress, accompanying hand bag, or
even her style of hair. She really didn't play that game. Women should support
each other, not tear each other into strips of a catalogue defining how, where
and when they should look or be. But, as she knew, she simply ignored all of
that and kept her head held high despite the inner struggle and thoughts.
Her roller-coaster mind kept on going, thinking, demanding
attention, while her outgoing person simply smiled and said hello to each
person that caught her gaze. So far, so good. She hadn't fallen over, walked
into anything, snapped a heel or kicked anyone’s bag. Turning her thoughts
around she started thinking positive thoughts. She was here, in the room,
glowing, happy, smiling, looking damn good, despite feeling a small bit of
guilt for thinking that way, but the truth was just that.
Reaching her table, feeling like a marathon had just been
undertaken, she knew where she was sitting as there was only one chair left. As
the people at the table looked in her direction a gentleman, who would be
sitting to her left, jumped up and pulled out the chair. She’d thought that
those days were long gone, the gentleman, the guy that knew the importance of a
woman, given way to the politically correct madness. That was nice.
Appreciated. She nodded and said ‘thank you’ as he moved the chair slightly
forward as she sat. ‘Let the grilling
begin’, she said to herself and no-one else in particular. From her right side
a waiter appeared with a wine bottle and that, especially that, would be
appreciated right about now. It was bad enough attending such an event on her
own, but with no wine? Madness. Utter madness.
As she glanced around the table, knowing that virtually
every single male had, in the first ten seconds, noticed her cleavage, then her
face, she gulped down the wine as she was sure no-one had noticed. They were
chatting, amongst each other, laughing, bonding, as she quickly listened to
each conversation. Who was kind, who was showing off, which of them were like
her and more. From across the table, the loudest male, with probably the
largest ego and smallest ‘package’, piped up, “Now that we all know each other,
how about the new lady at the table?” She could feel herself turn a slight
shade of red but, before she let that control her, she quickly replied,
“Me? I’m here for more of this!” to which she leaned forward, grasped the wine
bottle and filled her glass. The table laughed,
“Cheers to that,” he replied.
She knew, now that all of that was over with,
that the night would be an absolute blast.
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