Special

There’s only so many words I can use to exclaim, to explain my exorbitant ethos to the world. I'm caught within my own structured state of thinking, of being, yet knowingly desire a path towards something more. I need to experience, to escape, to evolve into a person of worth. I know that I'm a singular speck within 7.4 billion souls but, as I've been told and informed, I'm supposedly special.

Special, a star, a miracle of majesty and luck. What makes me special, when I'm surrounded by people that I respect, admire, some desire, with minds that might just create the next miracle within this world? I've known so many hearts, quite a few souls, with nearly all of them deserving of time, effort and love. Sure, as we all know, there are a couple, a few, a miniscule amount of people that have descended into darkness but there’s hope. There’s always hope until, that very final day, where a person no longer deserves respect, time, or even the life that they hold.

Decisions, recriminations however, thankfully, are not within my life curriculum vitae. I've been here, I've been somewhere over there, a bit to the left, a little to the right, with no actual political agenda that I’d like to share or, ever, even think about. I'm not a politician, I'm not a person of religion, despite having, at one time, two toes within different pots. I know all about that, as it’s shown me some of this, but sometimes it’s best to leave someone else’s instruction manual, from another time, perfectly alone.

But, after three paragraphs, I must return to the question at hand. Am I special? No, yes, maybe, not at all.  You see, to me, there is a black and white scenario to all of this. I do prefer the grey side of life, before committing to either side, as to judge just shouldn't enter our souls unless absolutely necessary. How dare I even attempt to judge another, let alone myself. So, again, what is my black and white solution to everything?  We’re either all special, each and every single one of us, or not even one of us deserves that word at all.

We’re born, supposedly with a blank slate, but not everyone is born the same size, the same height, bigger, smaller, longer or shorter, we’re an individual made from a code of genetics from two other people. That, in itself, is a miracle. We’re then fed, by self or by others, all of the information to form whom we become. One day, in the future, we eventually gain self awareness. Don’t ask me when, how, or if we all do, but it’s there. It’s crushing, to be such a young individual. Suddenly, from nowhere, you feel this amazing weight of life. Conform. Fit in. Or rebel and fit into the smaller group. Be bullied or bully. Exclude or excluded. All striving to be accepted, to be special and noticed.

Heck, we've all been there, in that great big room, filled with so many people yet deep inside, you feel the utter despair of loneliness. It eats at you, destroys you, with your face filled with acne along with other’s words of hatred. It’s an ugly, ugly time in our lives, despite many people still knowing such pain. A lucky few escape this chapter of life.

But, as always, back to the actual question. I know what I believe, the special quotation, but which side do I lean towards? It’s not so easy as I only have the information that I've been given by life. I’d like to state this, mention that, but as always, I'm torn.  There’s a fence and I'm sitting on that fence, knowing, smiling, realising that the only answer that actually matters is the following:

“Every single person, animal, organism, on this planet, is special. To think that the Human Race deserves the title of ‘special’ devalues us, belittles us, when we’re surrounded by such beauty all across this world. If anything we can actually place Humanity, due to World Wars, destruction, near the bottom of the list.”

We can be so much more. We could grow our souls to another level if, IF, we let go of our materialistic side. It’s too late for me. I know that there’s a message, a very special message, but it must start with the children.