Faceless

I’ve been there. Seen most of it, felt the emotion, then hid away as if I’m the most worthless individual created upon this very world. The sadness, the raw emotion, being held within my own soul as close as a Mother holds a child upon any given day. It’s real, it’s reasoned pestilence, a chapter of a book with a story still to be written.

I’ve been a faceless person. I’ve been nothing, within a room filled with personality and zest. The conversation assassins and the attention seekers, all treading upon any chance of your actual soul appearing to the singular, or to the many. I’ve stuttered and walked away on many occasions. It’s the norm, it’s the normal circumstance, it’s the soldier upon the battlefield for the first time. You feel the tension, the odd stance, wishing to run despite being frozen in place.

This is not the shape of your heart. We all know this. We feel this. The faceless person walking across the road, hearing the beep to hurry up. The faceless individual, walking into a room to be greeted by silence and that uncomfortable aura. If only. If any. We’re the person that can enjoy a conversation, understanding how important they can be, despite being interrupted and noticing lapse in other’s concentration. Abandoned, ignored, the worthless feeling rising within.

To me, none of you are faceless. I have to listen, I wish to listen, as I’ve been the exact same person as you. The rehearsing of lines before asking a question. The inability to speak to another, knowing that they simply do not wish to listen. It’s expected, it’s realised, that we can be a nation of selfish animals. The congressional hearing of truth being ignored for the shape of a face or the presentation of skin. The need to be famous, to be liked, is within all of us. For some, for others, it is the overriding sensibility of their lives. The depth is lacking, the requirement simple, yet so very, very flat.

We were born to hold another’s hand. We live to smile or, so it should be said, to be happy. The misery and sadness within a soul, can know depths that even the deepest oceans would shy away from such moments.  We can be the unknown. The many within the few. We wear no masks as, when we’re being honest, we have the inability to do so. What you do not see, is right in front of us. The hidden smile, the emotional bleak ticking clock, which is also known as a heart.

Then, from nowhere, once you believe and accept the realisation that your words and smile, are simply not required, you can find peace. We need not the acceptance of others. We do not need to command the room when we enter. We may always, forever and a day, be ignored when in a crowd but that’s okay. Once you understand the working way of the world, you can find the flow of your own smouldering heart. Embrace yourself. Smile to yourself. Watch, listen, take part where and when you can, but most of all… be the person that you were always meant to be.

When you’re being ignored, when you find yourself alone, you can hold your thoughts together with your very own heart. There is enough love within a person, each person, to envelop your grieving nature upon and within your world. This, this alone, can be the shape of your very heart. You need not feel sadness, anguish or sorrow. You can stand upon this world and raise your head. You are not the face you wear upon each given day. You’re not going to be the person that lights a room, as you need not desire such moments. They are transitory, empty, with the famous amongst us also finding the very same emotions that you face. Run from that drama filled space, run as fast as you can.

Find your acceptance, perseverance, while holding your own hand when the weather becomes rough. Warm your own fate when the chill of words enters your very ears. You are your own mountain, with each day becoming a new chance to scale yourself. Reach the top of your own baggage and fly as high as you can. These thoughts, these moments, are what you need. Belief. Understanding of how society around you functions. Emotions be damned, comprehension be embraced, with your very soul becoming something within the middle ground.

We are, we will be, we have been, the faceless. This, however, does not mean that we are nothing less than absolutely, completely, understandably and most certainly, amazing.

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My Microphone is in work. Audio to follow.



"Faceless: If you describe someone or something as faceless, you dislike them because they are uninteresting and have no character."