Unconditional

Danny, throwing the remaining wrapper into the bin, slowly chewed the oat filled protein bar. It had a slight taste of chocolate orange, despite the taste being quite bland. It was, however, a welcome treat from eating vegetables and whatever else she decided to eat that was overly healthy.

She looked out onto the lake, it’s steady calm invading her mind, soul and body. This place, of all places, was her go to whenever she felt lost, alone, or simply struggled with life. It was her safe place, her own place, despite many other people being around her at this point in time. She could see a frisbee zipping back and forth, to her side, the barking of dogs to her other side and, once again, the calm residing in front of her.

Her mind, her thoughts, as always, presented themselves whenever she struggled to find a gap of peace within her moments. She wanted to ponder a million subjects, but this one subject simply wouldn’t leave her alone. Love. She’d often wondered, as a younger woman, what love entailed, what it embodied to other people and more. Lately, she’d been reading about unconditional love which, for some reason, evaded most people.

She knew that she was mildly selfish, the same as most people, but this unconditional thing kept creeping into her mind. She'd accepted that she loved each of her partners, past, present and possibly future, for a reason. They had a beautiful smile, knowledge, or just something about them made her want to spend her life with them. Then, over time, doubt crept into her soul and, as usual, she devalued and cast them aside.

She’d realised that loving someone for a reason, meant that once she no longer wanted, valued or required that reason, her love would fade away and the process would start again. She would repeat the same situations over and over again. All she wanted was to be loved but, of course, she knew that in order to be loved, it required sacrifice, effort, acceptance and struggle. She lowered her head, as she played with her fingers. She wasn’t proud of her actions, as she’d caused such distress, such heartbreak, convincing herself that she would eventually, or never, meet the one for her. She also knew that the one for her wouldn’t exist, until she dealt with whatever demons existed within her.

She closed her eyes, blocking out the surrounding noise. Unconditional love, to her, meant that she accepted another person for who they were, faults and all. No selfish motives or desires. She knew that thinking would destroy any relationship, with thoughts being expressed, actual brave communication, becoming the saving grace of all affection. All she had to do, was be brave. They weren't all the same and, deep down, she knew this to be true. She, however, often stayed the same and, above all, there would always be limits to how she was emotionally treated before the unconditional faded.

She sighed a heavy sigh, as she opened her eyes. “If only!” she whispered under her breath, to no-one in particular. The realisation of loving unconditionally meant surrendering to fear, to possible future disappointment, but she was willing. She wanted to find someone that was kind, giving, sensitive, strong, well dressed, well mannered, perfect, hot, sexy and more. To do that, all she had to do, on the other hand, was smile and love unconditionally.

Blackout (F2R)

It happened so fast. So quick. We didn’t have enough time to breath, to even think, before chaos rained down upon all of us. Every street, every city in the country, probably the world, erupted all at once.

It was planned, we know that it was, now. A blackout. A pure, sadistic, biblical, universal blackout. Not energy, but money. One day we all had bank accounts and the next, absolutely nothing. Everything crashed, the stock market, the entire system. Yet, funnily enough, we still had lights and electricity. It made little sense, back then.

Without money, there was the initial confusion as to how any of us would buy food. Buy anything at all. After the confusion, many turned to their basic, natural instincts. There was blood in the streets. Every single day, hundreds, thousands, maybe even more, would be killed by random gangs of marauding people. Then, the gangs turned on themselves.

This happened a few years back, when we numbered eight billion. Within one year, we numbered four billion. Then three. We literally had to stand in line for hours at a time, just to be given water, food, essentials and more. We’d seen the videos from other countries, over the years, where such things took place, but not here, not to us.

Money, basically, stopped being a thing. We were then given a social credit system, once the app appeared. It all seemed as if we were being saved, being given our lives back again. Eventually the food vans would drive door to door, keeping us in our homes for longer, making sure that we received the basics. If we weren’t home, each and every single day, we could miss out on so much. Also, the score would decline.

The mass media heralded the change as a miracle for a modern age. Civilised, but we came to realise that it was all about control. The planned blackout, the ruling parties of the world, of course, retaining their abundance within their sectioned world. The governments remained puppets, as the common people simply made do with what they were given.

It was so harsh. Eventually, as history has taught us, the mass population accepted every single change pushed upon them. There were a few that pushed back but, as is usually the case, friends and family quickly cast them out of society, shunned them and made their lives a living hell. A new blackout, for the people that didn’t get with the program, or agreed with the new order.

What’s done is done. There’s no going back to the system of old. From one corrupt way of living to another and yet, we now have far less freedom than we did before. Travel was basic, limited to the range of your electric vehicle if, of course, you could afford one with the limited social credit and available score. Only the previously rich, or famous, could afford such items and, heaven forbid, if any of them said anything against the system.

It was all corrupt. It was utter madness. Maybe it had to happen, maybe it was the only way to save all of us. Maybe, just maybe, none of us would ever know. Either way, it all changed with the blackout.

Body (F2R)

Gerald stepped down from the pod, his weary legs shaking ever so slightly. He smiled a withered, old, sunshine-soaked smile from his aged skin. Stumbling slightly, he reached out and grabbed the sides of the seat in front of him. He’d enjoyed his time, the many adventures, but it was now time to say goodbye.

He exhaled, a heavy burden leaving his mind, as he wiggled into the comfy chair. He pressed the button on the intercom, next to him, “Penny, they can come in now!”

“Thank you Mr. Sissero!” arrived the reply.

As he licked his lips, trying to placate his dry areas, three of his oldest friends walked into the room. He looked at each of them in turn. He’d known Bobby since he was a kid, the two of them immediately getting on like a house on fire, but also knocking seven shades out of each other whenever the mood took them. Bobby was Gerald’s longest confidant, his friend, the one that he could always count on.

Next appeared Barbera. She was his ex wife, the one that stood by him despite his many faults, flaws and failings. She’d hated him, loved him, hated him again but, at the end, loved him for his generosity, calm, loving nature. They were like cat and dog, even if he was far too much of a dog to keep such a wonderful woman by his side.

After Barbera, Clive appeared with the usual big smile. Clive was his business manager, the man with the miracle marvel of ensuring his money stayed where it was or, should he say, increase the money wherever it sat. All three, critical, all three, the people that he trusted more than anyone else in the world.

Gerald smiled, nodding his head, knowing that they knew exactly what was about to happen. He was, after all, a miracle worker. He’d meditated, upon a day all those years previous, realising that the human spirit, a person’s very consciousness and whole entity, could be moved from body to body. He’d made his fortune, amplified the fortune to obscene levels, which meant that the very world was his playground. Age, however, decided that he had to curb his adventures. That is, or was, until the day he’d found the human energy pool.

His thoughts cut to the chase, telling the same story again. He’d manufactured three bodies for himself, vessels, cores, transitory chariots that could and would take his very person around the world. He’d give himself more time, more energy, a solution, to live beyond his years.

At first, placing his energy into another body felt alien, a miracle, a technological marvel based upon the obvious arts of the bodies’ energy. He’d lived four separate lives, over the last twenty years, establishing each of his vessel’s characters. Then, after discovering so much, he felt that it was time to let his life fade away into old age.

He smiled a tired smile, knowing that each of them had to purify their auric field, free their spiritual chakras and, above all, live a clean life. Obviously, within moderation, where possible. In order for the transfer to take place, they all had to successfully, at least once, make the journey. Gerald gesticulated towards the pods. In turn, they’d all transfer to their new bodies.

Each of his friends deserved their gift, the transfer of life, their recidivation given another chance at purity and more. Bobby was first. The pod closed and, after a few seconds, Gerald knew that Bobby would feel the seven main metal prods pressing against his body. Then, after a short time, two more would connect and the transfer would be momentary. Gerald hadn’t really thought about what he’d do, or they would do, with their old bodies, but he was sure that they’d shortly come up with a suitable plan.

A few moments moved through the sand of time and the new Bobby stepped from the pod next to the old enclosed Bobby. He lifted up his hands, turned them over and then, the widest smile appeared across Bobby’s face. The others eventually took their turn and quickly, surely, they were all given their brand new gifts. Each of them, special. All of them, worthwhile.

Gerald smiled as the three youngsters left the room. He needed no words, his last solitary few months would be enough to have one final moment with all of them. His work, of course, would be catalogued, replicated, then given to the world as his very final gift. For everything, a time. For life, it would be forever. He knew that it would eventually be monetised, but that would be for the next generation to resolve and figure out. For now, as he lifted himself from the chair, he’d make do with the body that had held him, protected him, saved him upon occasions and stored his very essence for many a year. He was, finally, happy with the body that he called home.

Hearting (F2R)

“How are you doing now?” asked Geraldine, as she sipped her exotic drink of the moment.

Amelia, not really wishing to tackle the subject for the twelve time this week, shrugged her shoulders as she replied. “I’m… doing better. Ish!”

Geraldine nodded her head a few times, finishing off the drink and immediately trying to catch the eye of an available waiter or waitress.

“Good. I like this.”

Amelia felt her emotions rise within her. The constant battle. The annoyance of just wanting to get on with life, once again disturbed by the moment. They’d travelled out of town to escape reminders and yet, all she could think about was that her ex would have liked the location. He’d have enjoyed the time, the seconds, the affection and more. She felt a small amount of anger rise within her, but pushed it aside as she, instead, gained control of her inner monologue.

She knew that her brain had thoroughly mapped the relationship, making the other person easier to locate when related to thoughts. She just wanted him to call her but, as she'd realised, it wasn't going to happen. Her brain relied on experience instead of knowledge, with her thoughts still searching and looking for him. This, as she knew, was grief. The denial, the near madness, similar to feeling cold whilst looking at a switched off heater. It made little sense and yet, it made perfect sense.

The heart's little brain, the thousands upon thousands of neurons played a part in her suffering, with its own nervous system. The communication, the speaking words of momentary pain, the suffering all playing a part upon her mind and body. Or, should she say, her minds.

The warmth of another, pressed against her, providing the calming moments within any storm or event, all gone. Vanished. Discarded. Pushed aside. She'd never be the same again but, as she'd been informed from every source, that would be the best thing for her. A new, improved version and, above all, she’d never make the same mistakes again.

She’d adjusted, understood, realised that self-love, appreciation, looking after oneself was an absolute imperative. The love of yourself, the greater intensity, meant that she could then share that love and be equal and balanced no matter the situation. It obviously didn’t help that much, seeing as her self esteem had been shattered into a thousand little slices of pain inducing shards, but it was all part of the process. Elevating. Progressing. Adapting. Improving her frequency and levelling up.

She’d throw up if any further buzz words reached her lips so, instead, she ordered another fruity, expressive drink once the waiter arrived.

“How are you these days?” asked Amelia, knowing to expect some crazy answer.

Geraldine, obviously about to embrace her absolute favourite subject, herself, beamed a great big smile as she started.

“Well, I’m totally over that guy I met the other month and,” Geraldine paused, moving her top down a little, exposing the small ‘hearting’ device, “this thing is amazing!”

Amelia knew what it was, realised that it would be the easy way forward, but she simply didn’t wish to embrace such a solution. It regulated emotions, castrated emotional pain which, of course, turned to physical pain within the brain after a heartbreak. Sure, it hurt like hell, but she’d rather feel than feel absolutely nothing at all.

“How long have you had that now?” asked Amelia.

“Two years,” replied Geraldine, “it’s simply the best device. All the fun with none of the pain.”

Amelia smiled at Geraldine, “As long as you’re okay and moving forward!”

She’d plead with Geraldine to throw it away if, at any point, she believed that Geraldine would. Heartbreak and emotional pain, all removed with a monthly subscription. The modern equivalent to happy pills ready to go once you’ve completed the online form.

She knew that the company behind the device would be making billions and, as maddening as it sounded, even the dictionary added a new description to the word, ‘hearting’. She replayed the words in her mind’s eye, ‘The pacification of emotional pain via electronic and electrical stimulation: Hearting’.

 

Social (F2R)

Jack slammed the door, dropping his bag by the radiator, as he ran up the stairs at full pelt. He was late, very, very late, which wouldn’t do when you’re the centre of attention within hos social circle. He jumped into the bathroom, checking his hair, his complexion, any random item or skin blemish and quickly exited the room to hurry into his bedroom.

Pressing the button upon his computer, he breathed a little, trying to relax. One couldn’t arrive looking flustered as that wouldn’t present the best face forward. It was, after all, all about appearances. He had to not be not bothered, but bothered, but not ‘that’ bothered.

The screen appeared, scanned his iris and immediately launched the social hub. He prepared himself, looking ever so slightly moody, but at the same time, cool as he could be.

‘No account found’

He stared at the screen, blinking a few times, his heart skipping a beat and then nearly stopping. His adrenaline spiked a little, as he restarted the machine. Seconds flew along as he calmed a little. Another scan, another launch of the hub and, as before, no account was found.

He pushed the thoughts aside, realising that if his account had an issue, then so would others. He reached into his jacket pocket, grabbing his mobile tab. Unfolding the screens, he tapped the side fingerprint scanner and then launched the hub app with his free finger.

The app launched, with the same message appearing once again, ‘no account found’. His head started to spin, ever so slightly, as he launched the text hub.

“Are you guys online?”

One by one the notifications arrived, the message read by all, with the replies slowing appearing. They were all online. He was the only one not able to connect. Even worse, he had no account. His social score, gone, his credit history, vanished. His life outside of this house with all of his friends, over. His heart, beating out of his chest, smashing against his ribs, sent his mind into a spiral of confusion and trauma. His life was over.

Jack usually didn’t crumble under this type of pressure but, of course, this wasn’t the type of pressure he was used to dealing with. He sat down, taping the help icon on the front of the inaccessible application on his computer. Almost immediately, a chat window appeared and he started to type.

‘Hi, my computer and phone say that I have no account, no account found. Can you help?’

He tried to calm his nerves, as he read the near instant reply, ‘Hello, my name is Rachel. I see that you’re having trouble with your account! What is your id or username?’

‘Yes. Username: SexySlushPup77*’

‘I see. Please wait while I look into this for you.’

 

Jack sat, as patiently as he could, his knee bouncing up and down. He could feel his nerves claw at his skin, his mind throwing thinking towards his immediate thoughts. This was, in all cases, a nightmare of immense proportions. A reply suddenly appeared within the chat window.

‘Hello, I’m afraid that your account has been erased due to inappropriate content.’

His fingers typed the reply at speed, ‘What content? I don’t understand. I’ve not done anything wrong?’

‘It seems that your value to the Chat Hub has reached a level to which your feedback, correspondence and participation has been cancelled. Please apply for alternative social credit at your local credit office. Thank you.’

‘I don’t understand? What did I do?’

‘The chat has ended. Please close your chat window. Thank you.’

Jack had heard about this before. Mistakes happened, but this, this was one of the worst mistakes that could happen to any individual. His life, as he knew it, was now over. He was, for a better term, a lower class of citizen. Outcast, soon to be forgotten and snubbed by most of the people he once knew. Once the system tainted an individual, once you were rejected, he’d soon feel the results as people simply wished to conform.

Almost immediately, his phone started to ping. He scanned his finger and, in front of his eyes, his friend list grew smaller and smaller. It was happening. Already. His life, over, his chances and life opportunities, reduced. He started to cry, the grief hitting him like the cruellest, most destructive news he’d ever heard.

He never thought that this would happen and, like all of the rest, neither did they. The social score, destroying his life.

Lighthouse

Once upon a time, there existed an Island. It was an adventurous Island, full of wonder, excitement, positivity and far, far more. The land, growing, filled with fruit and wonderful trees, with the wildlife as extravagant as the day is long. There were bridges to said island but, as with many stories, things changed with time.

One by one, the bridges started to vanish. However, as the Island was quite brave, it created new bridges to ensure that there would always be visitors. Each time a bridge broke, burned, was crushed or abandoned to decrepit ruin, the Island would adapt, learn and create a new bridge.

It was, as advantageous as a warm summer’s day, a skill that managed to ensure life continued. Then, upon a given night, all of the bridges vanished. The Island, once the morning appeared, sat in shock as there was now no way to reach across to the great lands. Troubled, disorientated, the Island didn’t quite know what to do. Sadness entered the land and, as is often the case, weakness and strife.

Marshalling all of the animals, the Island realised that there were other ways to travel. Boats, for one solution. Many, many boats, one for each visitor. A harbour was created, ready for fishing, boating, paddle boarding or whatever, as long as people visited.

The Island watched. The Island waited. The first boat approached, as the rocks appeared into view. The boat sank, striking a large rock and, upon a blindingly dark night, the Island realised that once again, it had to adapt. The Island worked, day and night, constructing the biggest, bravest lighthouse it could find.

The light from such a construction shone across the rivers, the seas, the sprinkling of rain and far, far more. The way was clear but, even then, the rocks threatened to keep all visitors away. You see, the Island knew that people didn’t wish to deal with difficulties, as they simply wished everything to be quick, easy, without trouble or, possibly, the rocks of life breaking bridges and boats.

Despite the light, despite the way becoming clear, the clarity of suitable paths, people stayed away from fear of having to think, resolve, understand and, possibly, give their effort instead of simply having everything handed to them.

The Island, frustrated, felt the deep depression of life’s lonely shores. It wanted to hide, it wanted to run away, despite being stuck to the very earth that held it together. Upon another cold, dark, scary night, the Island finally realised the greatest realisation that had ever been understood. The Island did not need bridges, or boats, or even a great big lighthouse for people to visit. The solution was simplicity itself.

The Island, slowly, methodically, removed each of the large rocks that bared an turned away visitors. The smooth sands of the beaches started to appear. Weight lifted from the Island’s soul, as calm appeared within the trees, upon the earth, within the very air that whooshed and embraced the animals upon their dens and habitats. The Island would not wish for visitors as, instead, visitors would wish to visit the Island of their own accord.

All at once, the Island stopped. The need for bridges, gone. The desire for visitation, relaxed. The endeavours of such a soul, changed. The most important desire, wish, want, need or sustenance, was the calm of its own lands. The Island would smile, if it could smile, instead deciding to radiate warmth for all. Its existence, calmed. Its purpose in life, ratified. The very light from within its own house, finally shining from within.

Eyes

I know that you’re there, somewhere, somewhere close but still so very, very far away. I’ve driven myself into that circle of issues, saying your name a hundred times, but that’s okay as this is life. It’s the life of mine. It’s the life that we wish to share, with each other, with another, with every single person we meet.

I feel you, your lips still saying the words that mean so much to a person such as myself. I’m not naïve, but maybe just a little, when it comes to you. I… love you. I cannot help or refrain from doing so. There are many moments within this world that one would and should never forget. Within a second, you can meet someone that’s so special, that it takes your very breath away to make something new.

I hear you, even when you’re saying nothing at all. Those whispers of yours, that contain doubt, emotions and far, far more than I can understand, are heard. I know that none of us are perfect, but I honestly don’t look to a person to see their flaws, as I’d prefer to see the beauty within every single soul. There will always be lines upon our skin, but that’s life and each line speaks to what we’ve accomplished. They speak of what we’ve been through. It’s easy to love beauty, but it’s easier for me to love someone that’s genuine, pure and not afraid to show the real person underneath. Show me your emotional scars and I’ll kiss each and every single one of them. If no words are expressed, then expressionless action will be returned.

You can call on me, whenever you feel the need. I’ll admit it, I’ll speak the truth, as I won’t always be there for you. That’s impossible. While I can be, I will be. If my hand can reach yours, it will. If I can hear you, I’ll protect you and support you in whatever endeavour you feel necessary. I’m hardly a cannon ball, but we can see what damage I can inflict upon the world for your wanted words. Just for you. With you.

I’m mumbling, spouting words upon the page as I’m trying to get to a point that I’ll  more than likely never find. Sometimes, I use far too many words as I write. You can hardly blame a musician for playing the chords of life, such as bemoaning a wordsmith for letters upon a page. Sometimes, I don’t use enough. It is true. It’s obvious. My heart is open, as much as I can allow, as there’s always that chance of becoming completely closed.

What I’m trying to say, is that whatever happens, you don’t need to say anything. You contain a depth to which many people hide. You’re so very, very caring that I often wonder if I could ever reach the heights to which you love. I can feel your pain, the worry for others, but that’s okay because your eyes, your beautiful eyes, tell me every single thing that need not be said.

Click to LISTEN

(Originally written 03.11.2020 and then a little added/modified 20.06.2022)

I’m not 100% sure where I was going with this one…