Beast

Some would say that beasts mainly hunt at night, keeping to the shadows to devour and hide their true intentions and bloodlust. Others would say that some beasts stand beside you in plain sight, smiling, while plotting your vey downfall. Personally, I feel that monsters and beasts come in all differing shapes and sizes.

There is something out there, that stalks us each and every single day. It’s a slow monster, in a fashion, that constantly and utterly wears a person down to dust. It waits for you, watches you, wondering when you’re about to let your guard down or, even, dare to feel good for but a moment. It seizes every opportunity and only the brave and strong escape its grip.

It’s hidden within all of us. It’s obvious as the night is dark. It’s the hidden beast that prays for a chance at destroying you. Self-confidence, self-esteem, happiness and more are but its playthings. It laughs at our ideals and ignores our pleas of hesitance and suffering. It hunts, hounds, claws at your heart and mind, while leaving scars upon your very soul. It breaks you, slowly, destroying the chance of having a life of normality. It evades and, all at once, can vanish to re-appear the moment that you can breathe.

It’s your own mind, your own failings. The doubt and struggle within. Your mind, that mind of yours, has two aspects. One side of you thinks fast, it saves you, cradles you, ensures that you eat and drink, allows you to walk and far, far more. The other side of you, the beast within, can be pondering, strategic, ever so fast but oh so cunning. It doesn’t mean to hurt you, but it understands that if it were not for pain, the suffering, that we’d never actually change.

It's seemingly never ending, once the trauma starts. You’re worthless, you’re good wasn’t good enough. Your efforts to become a better person have failed, miserably. Everything you are, or might possibly be, is pointless. It’s the demon within, the cold, calculating, horror of words and whispers that ends even the finest person.

We can reach a place, a safe place, where the monsters cannot find us. It’s still there, within you, a part of all of us. The silence, golden. The reprieve, magical. The moment, fleeting. We’ve all been there. We’ve all experienced our monster within. It waits for us to fail. It wants for us to feel weak. It’s the unrelenting parent within, almost always bullying the inner-child that’s hardly ever had a chance to stand up and grow.

Despite the horror, despite the whispering words of deluged trauma inducing moments, the beast within is there to be controlled. We command ourselves. We own our own worth. We specify the length of time for which we permit the monster to roam the lands of our mind. For everything, there is a time. If you are beaten, if you are eaten to an inch of your life, descending to the depths of despair and ever so slightly beyond, we can find our courage. We can find our reason. We can hold that monster within a vice like grip and refuse to listen. We are worthwhile. Our worth is not defined by another or, even, our own monster within.

We can stand tall, embracing the fear that we feel within our very blood. Cast the words aside, allow the time required to become stronger, broader, a learned character and flourish through the words of self-deprecation. Replace the words spoken by an animal that’s never faced the fear that you and I have. All it can do is speak, chastise, bemoan, garnish the truth with frivolities and admonish without realising its own part in the fantasy.  It’s there to make you stronger, to find the courage and energy to silence the beast once and for all.

Some would say that beasts mainly hunt at night, keeping to the shadows to devour and hide their true intentions and bloodlust. Others would say that some beasts stand beside you in plain sight, smiling, while plotting your vey downfall. Personally, I feel that whatever is inside you is there for a purpose and if that makes it a monster, then so be it.

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