Here's a collection of words that didn't quite make it to an actual Blog post. I go from the moment I start typing with Blog posts so I have to be fast. It's all about the feeling, as mentioned above, the actual emotion at that moment in my heart. Every... single... time.
Digital
There was once a time when I actually had to venture out into the day, to say hello, to speak actual real words that could be heard in person but that was a long time ago. We’re now in a new age, the Twitter, Tinder, social age of connecting without barely even lifting a finger.
There was once a time when I actually had to venture out into the day, to say hello, to speak actual real words that could be heard in person but that was a long time ago. We’re now in a new age, the Twitter, Tinder, social age of connecting without barely even lifting a finger.
It’s madness that I can copy in a hundred people, the never ending friends list, sending many words of worth or, at times, words that
barely make any sense. There’s no room for grammar, soliciting wasted moments
when all you need is a letter. It matters not that the word, or letter, conveys
barely any understanding but that’s okay, that’s perfectly fine, as it’s all
quickly forgotten.
The stream keeps on moving, endlessly, capturing vacant
thoughts, reposts, copy and pastes, with barely any new media assembled to
ensure a smile. We’re passive, aggressive, ever ready for a fight and quicker
to vanquish something that shows success from another. We’re guilty, we’re all
there, with the digital eye ever asking us to submit more and more.
But, when that is said, I’d prefer the analogue way, the
olden days, of actual dates within a day, to share, to laugh, to smile with an
actual person.
Life
I always wanted one, a life, that thing that so many
purported to own and share on a daily basis via social media. It seemed so
serene, magical, filled with happiness and smiles of glee. Each picture, every
single word, living a never ending dream of clean surroundings and soul feeding
bliss.
I always wanted one, that life, with every solitary moment,
each emotion, captured, distilled, created in a maximum shape of 2048px wide.
Such beauty, such providence, a spiralling monument of momentary collages. I
can, almost, taste the life I need to live, the life I want in so many ways.
I always wanted one, the life, where my moments were
displayed to the world like a canvas full of fractures and faint ripples. I
have shattered dreams to share, broken souvenirs, with doubts and fears hidden
behind a smile or prevalence.
I always wanted one,
Moon
Suddenly, from the inner wishes of my soul, I decided to chase the moon that seemed to be surrendering in the dark sky. Jumping as high as I could manage I reached ahead, with all of my energy, grabbing hold of a star flying fast through the same sky. Swiftly, with ease, zooming away with the world’s wishes.
Suddenly, from the inner wishes of my soul, I decided to chase the moon that seemed to be surrendering in the dark sky. Jumping as high as I could manage I reached ahead, with all of my energy, grabbing hold of a star flying fast through the same sky. Swiftly, with ease, zooming away with the world’s wishes.
From the distance I spied a mountain, filled with forbidden
fruit, a valley of wishes and fantasies. As the view approaches, appears, then
vanishes behind me, surrounded by the star’s glow, I make a thousand wishes
within a few seconds and moments. I want to be something that’s between black
and white, something else, something… better.
I can see it, way away in the distance. The moon, glowing,
smiling, casting a kind of solemn refection onto the world. It’s my destiny,
it’s what I’m shooting for, where I need to be. Maybe I’ll float within the
outer space, for a while, basking in the calm and silence of space. It’s hard
to breath, it’s a place of splendour and fear, but that’s okay as I’m on an
adventure of space and time.
I’ve mentioned flying, a few times, which seems to be a
valid inflection of my spoken life. If you’re not flying then you’re grounded.
Mother
With all the strength I have in the world, I grasp, I hold, I try to retain you in this world but that’s not going to work. That’s never going to happen. The energy, the fire, it’s not enough and never will be.
With all the strength I have in the world, I grasp, I hold, I try to retain you in this world but that’s not going to work. That’s never going to happen. The energy, the fire, it’s not enough and never will be.
As a child we held hands,
day after day, knowing that all the help I ever needed in the world was right
by my side. I simply never, ever knew, that one day that hand may actually,
forever and one more day, vanish from my reach. I’m strong in the world. I’m a
bridge for others in this place, yet that came from you. You’re my blood, my
life, which can never be forgotten as long as I can open my eyes and see the
world.
There’s a lesson, there’s a momentary pause, there’s the
life I’m in, within, that reminds me that I’m no more special than any other
person. But, to you, I’m your Son, your life, the very reason why you still
smile.
We all must let go, at some point in our lives, as that’s
life. There’s no preparation, there’s no saviour, there’s no book that will
ease the answers before the question even appears. Time. The luxury of it all.
Seconds. The moments we take for granted. Never look back at what you didn’t
do, the things you said, as that’s all forgiven when a Mother looks at her son
and tenderly whispers, “I love you!”
When you look into the eyes of your own children, if you
have them, they too may one day have to say goodbye and that, that thought, is
an extreme black hole of madness waiting to stab your heart until you bleed
tears. It all comes back to time. How long? How much? What can we pay for more?
There is no more time. There never will be.
I have to let you go
Sleep
The darkness crawls, aware, knowing how and what I’m feeling. Looking through the large glass windows, surrounded by man made plastic, into the night sky, sleep evades my every single thought. I’m awake, I know why, I cannot state the how, but this is the case no matter what flows through this heavy mind of mine. I cannot stop thinking about you.
The darkness crawls, aware, knowing how and what I’m feeling. Looking through the large glass windows, surrounded by man made plastic, into the night sky, sleep evades my every single thought. I’m awake, I know why, I cannot state the how, but this is the case no matter what flows through this heavy mind of mine. I cannot stop thinking about you.
As with many thoughts in this world it started with
something so innocent, a moments momentary glance, a whisper that seemed to be
passed across the room like a magical voodoo spell with intentions to play with
my mind, body and possibly soul. Forget the mention of my soul, it’s as if I no
longer have such a thing, as it’s yours. Cursed, the long-forgotten emotions
left behind within the void of past situations. I’d misplaced such thoughts,
banished them towards a place that could never be found again, in the safe
knowing smiles that I’d no longer be a slave to the fruits of this life.
They say that the very first hello, that singular moment of
impotence, when the air escapes your lungs and forces your heart into a place
of suspension, is one of those life changing instances that seldom happens to
most of us. You turned and in one instant I had to stop. Gathering composure,
reaching for a smile to appear on my lips as I ask my stance to behave, I
approached and began the usual play of words.
I’m still here, looking at the ceiling, glancing across to
the time displayed on the wall, wondering how I’d managed to get to this place,
again, once again, the place that I’d wished I’d never approach.
Chameleon
As the words flow, from my lips, the soft echoes exhaled from my mind, I can see that you’re not quite aware of the deception forming around you. I smile, ever so slightly, while mirroring your stance in a way to create conformity, symmetry, a bonding of moments and intentions. We’ve already discovered so much about each other, the same interests, the same visions, the various moments that we’ve shared, in this life of ours, while walking separate paths. Until now. Right now, here, together, minutes after saying the very first hello.
As the words flow, from my lips, the soft echoes exhaled from my mind, I can see that you’re not quite aware of the deception forming around you. I smile, ever so slightly, while mirroring your stance in a way to create conformity, symmetry, a bonding of moments and intentions. We’ve already discovered so much about each other, the same interests, the same visions, the various moments that we’ve shared, in this life of ours, while walking separate paths. Until now. Right now, here, together, minutes after saying the very first hello.
A few more moments fly past, words moving as they should,
from person to person, respecting the flow of conversation, never interrupting
other than to laugh or show a facial expression or two. I can appreciate, I can
envision, but I’ve heard it all before. The same differences in all of us. We’ve all seen a sunrise, possibly walked a
few mountains in our time, kissed a few fools, slept with a few misses and
regretted a second or two.
The drinks vanish, with renewed glass re-appearing as the
hour strikes its hand against the clock. Time, flowing as it does when you’re
having fun, within the objective, doesn’t care for what we have to say. It’s
all forgotten before the words even appear within our minds. I know that I’m
wearing a mask...
Pounds
Staring at the phone, wasting time, thinking, excluding the thoughts that I should be thinking, I wait that little bit longer. It’s been awhile, an age, which feels like years, since I last listened to your voice.
Staring at the phone, wasting time, thinking, excluding the thoughts that I should be thinking, I wait that little bit longer. It’s been awhile, an age, which feels like years, since I last listened to your voice.
It thrills me,
excites and fills my blood full of warmth and calm. You’re special, you’re
‘that’ person in my life. I miss you. Love you. Need you. But, when all thought
is said and flutters through my mind, the words are nothing when compared to
actually being with you. Around you, holding that hand of yours and, of course,
battling through this world that’s been graciously given to us.
For everyone, for everything, find the warmth this Christmas
and never, ever, let it go. No matter
the distance, or time… give love this Christmas.
Or £50. I’d also like £50.
Thanks.
Down
Focussing across the ring, I know that you’re there, celebrating an early victory and relishing your jubilant outcome. I’m not one for confrontation but, when that’s said I’ve heard what’s been done, I’m hardly a shrinking violet and will protect what’s mine. This means, right now, that I’m here and I’m going to fight for what it’s all worth.
Vile words, pretentious assignations with others, it’s all
been going on for far too long and, as I stand, I smack the gloves together
knowing what I’m about to do, no matter what, needs to happen. Standing,
slightly hoping from one leg to the other, adrenaline spikes and I’m called
forward. The words of the ref resound in my head, meaningless moments, all
vanishing as you stand in front of me.
The bell rings, echoing through the room, as the resonant
shouts, screams and insane advice are thrown into the air. Stepping forward with speed, you’re upon me
as I defend my head. Words, slapping around my ears, doing little damage until
you throw a solid jab into my...
Frank
Frank leaned over, opening the drawer, pulling out a small photo album. With sorrow filling his eyes, the moment suddenly slowing to a standstill, he places a hand onto the album and smiles through the sadness. Looking away from the photos, smile vanishing as quickly as it arrived, he handed the leather encased collection over to me and started his story.
They’d met, 42 years previously, in a busy market. He
couldn't actually understand, or even recall, when he’d even visited the market
on that precise day but, nevertheless, he was thankful for being there. Walking
slowly, not really interested in all of the various items, ranging from old
compact discs, to VHS tapes, he wasn't really that interested.
As he approached the exit he heard a commotion behind him
and, looking behind, he caught sight of a woman complaining about a purchase
with her back to him. In those days he was a big chap, bulky, as he worked out
and, being honest, he didn’t really bother with hair gel so it seemed to just
stick out a bit. It made him look tough, or stupid, but he didn’t mind either
one really as he knew who he was at heart. He turned, walked over, to stand
behind the woman. He glared at the guy who, catching Frank’s eye, quickly and
quietly exchanged the item.
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